What should I avoid in Lisbon?

Tram 28 is the single biggest waste of time in Lisbon. The route itself is beautiful — tight corners through Graça, the cathedral, Alfama — but the reality is a 45-minute queue at Martim Moniz followed by a ride so packed you'll spend the whole thing with your face in a stranger's armpit and your hand on your wallet. Pickpockets work these trams professionally; they board in pairs, one blocks the door while the other works the crowd. Take the 12E instead, which covers similar ground with a fraction of the passengers, or just walk downhill from the Miradouro da Graça. The cobblestones are slippery in the rain and the hills will burn your calves, but you'll actually see the city — the laundry strung between buildings, the cracked azulejo tiles on a pharmacy wall, the smell of grilled sardines drifting up from someone's window. That's the Lisbon Tram 28 promises and can't deliver through a fogged-up window pressed against forty tourists.

Rua Augusta between Rossio and Praça do Comércio is a pedestrian boulevard lined with restaurants where a man stands outside waving a laminated menu in four languages. The carbonara is €16 and tastes like airport food. Walk two blocks east into Rua dos Bacalhoeiros or Rua dos Fanqueiros and you'll find tascas where a plate of arroz de pato or bitoque with a fried egg runs €8–10 and the owner doesn't speak English because the locals haven't left. Cervejaria Ramiro in Intendente is worth the trip for prawns the size of your hand — expect to spend €35–40 per person with beer — but skip any restaurant within direct sightline of a major monument. That rule holds across the whole city. Time Out Market in Cais do Sodré is fine if you go before noon or after 3pm; between those hours it's a food court with a 20-minute queue for every stall and nowhere to sit.

The hash sellers are unavoidable. Around Rossio, Martim Moniz, and throughout Bairro Alto after dark, men will mutter 'hashish, cocaine' as you walk past. They're selling pressed bay leaves or soap shavings — it's not real, and engaging at all, even to decline politely, tends to escalate the pitch. Walk past without eye contact. This is not dangerous, just annoying. The actual safety concern in Lisbon is petty theft: phone snatching on terraces in Bairro Alto, bag slashing on the metro between Baixa-Chiado and Cais do Sodré, and the classic 'spill something on your jacket' distraction near Santa Justa elevator. Keep your phone off the table, bag on your lap, and you'll be fine. Lisbon is a genuinely safe city — violent crime against visitors is close to nonexistent.

Belém Tower looks better from twenty metres away than from inside. The interior is five cramped floors with tiny windows and a spiral staircase that forces single-file traffic both ways. The queue runs 60–90 minutes in summer and the ticket is €10. Photograph it from the waterfront promenade, then spend that hour at the Jerónimos Monastery cloisters instead — they're the most beautiful Manueline stonework in the country, the light through the arches around 4pm turns the limestone warm gold, and the queue moves three times faster. While you're in Belém, skip the Pastéis de Belém queue too if it wraps outside the door. The pastéis de nata at Manteigaria in Chiado are arguably better — crackled burnt sugar on top, warm custard still liquid in the centre — and the wait is rarely more than five minutes. You'll smell the caramelised sugar from the street.

July and August in Lisbon bring dry heat that sits in the 35–38°C range, and the steep cobblestone hills of Alfama and Graça become genuinely punishing after noon. The stones radiate heat back at you from below while the sun hits from above — bring water, wear real shoes with grip, and do your hill walking before 11am. Mind you, the flip side is that Lisbon's winters are mild by European standards — January averages 12°C and rain comes in short bursts rather than all-day grey. The wind off the Tagus at Praça do Comércio can cut through a light jacket in December, though, so bring a layer. One more thing: taxis from the airport. The official fare to central Lisbon runs about €15–20 on the meter. If the driver quotes a flat rate of €30 or says the meter is broken, get out and take the next one. The metro also runs directly from the airport to Alameda and the green line — €1.65 and about 25 minutes. That's the right answer for most arrivals.