What should I avoid in Bangkok?

Tuk-tuks are the single biggest money drain for first-timers. The driver tells you the meter is broken, quotes 200 baht for a ride that costs 60 on Grab, then offers a 'free' detour to a gem shop or suit tailor where he earns a commission if you walk through the door. The gems are glass. The suits fall apart after two washes. This isn't a rare hustle — it's the default business model along Ratchadamnoen Avenue near Sanam Luang and around the Grand Palace perimeter. You'll smell the exhaust fumes and hear the pitch before you've crossed the street. Use Grab, Bolt, or the BTS Skytrain. A Rabbit card from any BTS station costs 100 baht and loads in 30 seconds.

The Grand Palace deserves the visit, but the surrounding ecosystem is built to separate you from cash. Men in pressed shirts standing near the entrance will tell you it's closed for a 'royal ceremony' and offer to take you to a 'better temple' instead — which routes through the same gem shop. The palace is open 8:30 to 15:30 daily except actual royal events, which the Tourism Authority posts on its site. Dress code is strict: no shorts, no tank tops, no see-through fabric, no sandals. They rent wrap-arounds at the gate for 200 baht, but the fabric is thin polyester that sticks to your skin in the 36-degree heat. Wear lightweight linen trousers and a cotton shirt with sleeves. You'll be walking on sun-baked stone for two hours.

Khao San Road has its five minutes of charm around 10pm — the smell of grilled satay from the corner vendors, cold Singha for 80 baht, backpackers comparing terrible tattoos. Stay past midnight and the bass from competing bars rattles your fillings. The pad thai stalls lining the road charge 100-150 baht for portions that cost 40-60 baht on Samsen Road, a ten-minute walk north where the tourists thin out and the noodles get noticeably better. Mind you, the banana pancake vendors on Khao San are still decent at 2am if you need fuel. That said, sleeping within three blocks of the road means earplugs or no sleep — the noise carries through concrete walls until 4am.

Skip the Pattaya day-trip that taxi drivers pitch at the airport. Six hours on a minibus, two hours at a mediocre beach, and the driver earns a kickback from every tourist he delivers to the jet-ski operators. Bangkok sits on the Chao Phraya — take the 15-baht orange-flag express boat from Sathorn pier to Wat Arun instead. The breeze off the river drops the felt temperature by five degrees, the temple catches late-afternoon light in a way that photographs itself, and you're back in time for dinner. Safari World in Minburi runs orangutan boxing shows and elephant rides that most visitors regret watching. The concrete enclosures smell like wet straw and disinfectant. The Tiger Temple was shut down for wildlife trafficking; Safari World operates on a thinner margin of the same logic. Worth noting: the Dusit Zoo closed permanently in 2018 and some outdated guides still list it.

The heat is the thing nobody budgets for. April averages 36°C but feels closer to 43°C with humidity factored in — your phone's weather app says 'mainly clear' and your body says you're standing inside a clothes dryer. Drink water before you feel thirsty. The 7-Elevens on every block sell 1.5-litre bottles for 14 baht, and the air conditioning inside is genuinely the coldest thing in the city. Plan temple visits for 8:30am opening — by noon the stone courtyards at Wat Phra Kaew radiate heat upward and the crowds triple. Afternoon belongs to air-conditioned malls or a river taxi with wind in your face. The rainy season from June through October brings 30-minute downpours that flood Sukhumvit's lower sois ankle-deep. Cheap sandals from the nearest market stall beat ruining your walking shoes.