What should I avoid in Miami?

The restaurants along Ocean Drive between 5th and 14th Street hire sidewalk hosts waving laminated menus, and the food is interchangeable. A mojito runs $18-22. Walk three blocks west to Española Way instead, where Havana 1957 does a proper ropa vieja for $19 and the croquetas actually taste like ham instead of breading. The Bayside Marketplace food court near Bayfront Park is similarly overpriced, at $16 for a fish taco. A better move for seafood is Casablanca Seafood Bar on the Miami River, about 10 minutes south, where the whole fried snapper costs $24 and you eat on a dock with pelicans eyeing bait buckets on the fishing boats. In Little Havana, Versailles on SW 8th Street has been serving café con leche and pan con bistec since 1971. The ventanita window stays open late, and a cortadito costs $1.50. Kyu in Wynwood does a wood-fired short rib for around $29, and the smell of binchotan charcoal drifts out onto the sidewalk.

Don't rent a car if you're staying on Miami Beach. Parking at a meter on Collins Avenue costs $4 per hour, garage spots near Lincoln Road hit $30 a day, and the lots around 1st Street will boot your car for a $175 release fee if your ticket expires by 10 minutes. Causeway traffic between the Beach and mainland takes 25-40 minutes during rush hours. The free Miami Beach Trolley runs along Collins and Washington Avenues, and a Lyft across the Julia Tuttle Causeway costs $8-12. If you do rent for a day trip to the Everglades or Key Largo, refuse the toll transponder at the counter. Rental agencies at MIA charge $3-10 per day for a SunPass you can buy at any Publix for $2 and load with $20 to cover about a week on the 836 and Turnpike.

Promoters appear along the South Beach bar strips around 9pm with free-entry-and-open-bar deals. The open bar is typically well drinks for one hour with a $40 minimum spend, and the promoter pockets $10-15 per head. You'll likely end up in a half-empty room at 11pm with a $65 tab for three watered-down vodka sodas. That said, Miami's nightlife works better when you pick your own spot. Basement in the Edition hotel on Collins Avenue books solid DJs in a smaller room where the sound system actually works. The bars along Calle Ocho in Little Havana have live salsa bands on weekend nights and cold Presidente beer for $5. Gramps in Wynwood has a taco window, a back patio strung with lights, and a crowd that skews local.

From June through November, afternoon thunderstorms build around 2-3pm with startling regularity. The sky goes from blue to charcoal in 15 minutes, then 20-40 minutes of hard rain soaks everything before the sun returns. The humidity before a storm sits around 80-90%, and the air feels thick on your skin. Plan that 2-4pm window around indoor stops. The Pérez Art Museum Miami on Biscayne Boulevard charges $16 general admission and stays cool inside. The Frost Museum of Science sits next door if you want a full afternoon. Mosquitoes get aggressive near standing water after these storms, so pack DEET spray if you plan to visit Vizcaya Museum and Gardens. The 1914 estate's bayfront gardens become a breeding ground by dusk. The Miami sun is stronger than most northern visitors expect, too. UV index reaches 11 or higher from April through September, enough to burn in under 15 minutes.

To be fair, the parts of Miami that tend to reward your time sit off the South Beach tourist strip. The Design District around NE 40th Street has free outdoor art installations, and the Institute of Contemporary Art charges no admission. Key Biscayne's Bill Baggs Cape Florida State Park costs $8 per vehicle and has a beach quieter than South Beach even on a Saturday. You might spot stingrays in the shallows beneath the old Rickenbacker Causeway bridge. In Coral Gables, the Venetian Pool was carved from a coral rock quarry in 1924 and still fills with spring water. It's open to non-residents from March through October, and the water feels startlingly cool after a morning in the 34°C heat. Coconut Grove's Peacock Park hosts a Saturday farmers market where vendors sell mamey sapote and caimito you won't find at Publix. Worth noting, the Underline linear park runs 16 km beneath the Metrorail from Brickell to Dadeland, with bike lanes and native hardwood hammock plantings along the route.