Is Kauai LGBTQ-friendly?

Hawaiian culture had a word for gender-fluid people long before the 2013 marriage law. Māhū, people who carry both male and female spirit, traditionally held respected roles as teachers and keepers of hula, and many of Kauai's hālau hula still teach that history. Mind you, aloha on Kauai is quiet, not loud: in Kapaa the woman at the poke counter will call you both 'honey', and a Hanalei shopkeeper might ask how long you two have been together. Outside a few shopfronts in Old Kapaa Town you'll see very few rainbow flags, and the rainbows on Hawaii's licence plates come from the state nickname, not a political statement.

For an anniversary dinner, book Beach House Restaurant in Poipu for the 30 minutes before sunset and ask for a rail table on the lanai: surf breaks on the lava shelf below, loud enough to give two people some privacy, and the air tastes of salt. It is also the most crowded sunset table on the south shore, so reserve about two weeks ahead. Bar Acuda in Hanalei is the quieter pick, a small tapas room that smells faintly of wood smoke from the kitchen, where the crowd is mostly north-shore locals. For a casual night, pick up poke at Kilauea Fish Market and eat it at Anini Beach, where the fringing reef keeps the water flat and warm against your ankles.

Split-interest days work well on Kauai. The history buff can spend a morning at Russian Fort Elizabeth near Waimea, a National Historic Landmark whose basalt walls date from 1816, then drive up through Waimea Canyon State Park to the lookouts at roughly 3,400 feet, where the red dirt stains your shoes. The other partner can take the Allerton Garden tour from the visitor centre opposite Spouting Horn in Lawai, where Moreton Bay fig roots stand taller than a person and the shade smells of wet soil and plumeria. Meet in Old Koloa Town for shave ice by 4pm: Poipu is a 10-minute drive from there, in time for the table you booked.

Nā Pali Coast sunset catamarans leave from Port Allen, drawing mainly honeymooners and families on board. Bachelorette groups mostly book the Waikiki booze cruises on Oahu instead, so a same-sex couple sharing the bow rail draws no attention on these boats. If you'd rather hear the swell slapping the hull than a speaker playing Bob Marley, pick a cruise without an open bar, and pack a light layer for the ride back to Port Allen. At 1pm on 19 October the island's weather station read 14.7°C with drizzle and 89% humidity.